Personality uniquely defines oneself; in other words, personality is the set of characteristics that distinctly identifies one person from another. One’s personality is usually influenced by experiences and knowledge and helps to deal with the matters that arise as life goes on. Therefore, developing one’s personality is a must to succeed in life. However, an abusive personality is a specific kind of personality that is harmful to others as well oneself.
A person who has an abusive personality tends to display certain characteristics; these are more commonly termed warning signs. Although the display of these signs does not necessarily imply that one has an abusive personality, a greater number of warning signs suggest a greater inclination towards abusiveness. The specific traits that are displayed include, excessive jealousy, possessive and dominating behavior. Initially, the person may even try to conceal his/her dominating behavior as concern or love towards the other person and the victim may be grateful at first. However, as time passes by, this conduct would become more severe and he/she will tend to control the other party by influencing and threatening them. A person with an abusive personality would also try to seclude the other party from any social interactions by inhibiting them to associate with friends or relatives.
Another characteristic of a person with an abusive personality is holding impractical expectations. The person may expect others to be perfect and, then may even blame them for not standing up to his/her expectations. Furthermore, the person will always deny responsibility for any violent or negative acts caused by him/her. Usually, the person would blame the other party for the committed acts of violence stating that they prompted him/her to act in that manner.
An abusive personality would also compel the person to be hypersensitive and therefore, they are easily offended or disturbed. As a result, relatively small day-to-day events may cause the person to lose his temper. Sudden mood swings would also occur in a person with an abusive personality causing him/her to act as a very caring and loving person one moment and suddenly, turn into an aggressive person, the next. Verbal abuse is also common among the persons with an abusive personality, through which he/she would frequently humiliate the victim using cruel and strict comments.
Immediate help should be sought by those with an abusive personality. Counseling services may provide the necessary guidance to overcome abusiveness. It should be remembered that it is not a shame to seek help for oneself when it is needed.